The Empty Promise

We just saw this Starbucks ad in the New York Times and had to comment. In case you can't read it, it says that since there are "over 87,000 possible combinations" when it comes to ordering their espresso beverages (caf, decaf, multiple shots, flavored syrup, skim, no fat, various sizes, etc), they're going to make a promise to you, the customer: if your drink isn't perfect, "we'll make it right." It ends by saying "This isn't a promotion, this isn't 'for a limited time only,' this isn't 'while supplies last.' This is every coffee, every day, forever."

This is what we call The Empty Promise... that is, what they're really promising is what every place promises. The difference is that the other guys don't take out full-page color ads to say it: If we made a mistake, let us know and we'll fix it. Starbucks isn't claiming that if they goof up you get a free drink or or your money back or that they'll shine your shoes. They're saying they'll fix it. It's a lot like, I guess, if you order a cheeseburger at Burger King and you get a plain ol' burger. Can't we assume they'll correct that mistake when you bother to point it out? Or if you order a chocolate shake and you get a vanilla one by accident? The Empty Promise is a great tool for the modern con man at work (for more on the modern con man at work, make sure to check out this month's Penthouse). You make a pledge to your customer for something that you were going to do anyway — doesn't matter how unspectacular it is. If you ham it up a little, a lot of people will be surprisingly thankful. And that can go a long way.