Impossible

Not long ago, wanting to "keep up with the Jonses" meant having to maintain a lush, green lawn or buying a BMW. But pressure to "keep up with the Jonses" is the reason Robert Irvine - celebrity chef host of the Food Networks' Dinner: Impossible – is giving as to why he lied on his résumé, fabrications that make you wonder who the hell the Jonses are anymore? Among those lies:

That he is friends with Prince Charles.
That he cooked for four U.S. Presidents.
That he was granted British knighthood.
That he owned a castle in Scotland.

From the network's website this morning (although probably not for long), an intro for Irvine says "If you could combine James Bond and MacGyver, you would get Robert Irvine, a real life chef extraordinaire." Hmmm.

(Food Network, this is a minor point since you're probably changing the site, but if you'd really wanted to make that point above, one of the two people in your "If you could combine" scenario probably should've been food-related. A Bond-MacGyver spawn would kick major ass but it doesn't make us think Black-Pepper-Crusted Wagyu New York Steak with Black Truffle Vinaigrette. And while we have you, if we find out that Rachael Ray isn't really Italian royalty and a direct descendant of the Medicis, we will never forgive you! We love her BBQ Spiced Chicken.)